a freelance procrastinator and occasional dilettante named Helen. Don't ever say "take your time" to a procrastinator. I really dig Rammstein, Ween, Clutch, Swans, The Big Lebowski, Bob's Burgers, Gogol Bordello, animals, nature, the beach, funny stuff, Doug Benson, The Black Keys, Type O Negative, Firewater, Metalocalypse, The Walking Dead, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Arrested Development, True Detective, True Blood, Shameless, breathing, Coen Brothers, John Waters, MST3K, LOTR, BSG, COD, LBP, old arcade games, ps3, Firefly, Medeski Martin Wood, and many more. SO MANY MORE!! Pizza and air conditioning rule my world. I like dark humor and try to laugh daily to fight the sadness. Don't be so serious, because one day we'll all be diagnosed with something bad or else get into a car wreck and die (sorry, it's true. We will all die eventually of something). I daydream a lot & possess a vivid imagination.
Johnny Walker puppies
This Samsung commercial illustrates eight different uses for one of their phones demonstrated by an assortment of ridiculously cute animals doing surprisingly human things. Hamsters go to the movies and chow down on popcorn, bunnies contend with the daily grind at the office, other bunnies work out at a health club, puppies make use of a photo booth, guinea pigs take a road trip, baby chicks hit the dance floor, and a hedgehog supervillain sits in his lair watching his evil plans unfold. (We’re trying not to think about what was going on between the kittens in front of the fireplace.)
Yes, it’s a commercial. But there’s so much anthropomorphic cuteness happening that it’s an easy fact to overlook.
Dashboard Puppy Systems May Be Unsafe
It sounds convenient — easy access to your puppy while on the go or during your commute. But Ford’s new PuppyDash™ technology has come under scrutiny from the Department of Transportation.
“It’s just another distraction at the wheel,” says Secretary of Transportation Ray LaHood. “Numerous studies show that playing with a puppy while driving is about the same as having three beers before getting on the road.”
Star Wars Fanpup Turns Recovery Into Opportunity
“That’s no moon. It’s a dog cone.”
Getting over the “grown-up surgery” can be trying for some pups. But Musha, an avid Star Wars fan, turned her ridiculously oversized cone into a fully operational planet buster.
Her new Death Star headgear has become so popular in her neighborhood and online that she plans to wear it long after her recovery, and perhaps even go into business selling designer cones to other pups.
Via Hobo Hiatus.
Meet the Future Police Dogs of the United Kingdom
Born in October 2011, these adorable German Shepherd pups are already well on their way to becoming lean, mean, crime fighting machines. That’s because they’re part of the West Midlands Police dog training program. They will be taught how to follow and track scents, how to search for and locate missing property and people, and how to detain a fleeing suspect — including those with firearms.
The rigorous training program will eventually lead these puppies to graduate as operational police dogs for the West Midlands Police, a force that takes their dogs seriously. (How seriously? Well, last year their ran a Pup Idol competition to find their next police dog star.)
Via West Midlands Police.
TIP: Fold Your Puppies Right Out of the Wash to Avoid Wrinkles
Keep your puppies looking crisp and fresh by folding them as soon as they come out of the dryer. If you let them sit in the laundry basket, they’re bound to look wrinkly later.
SEE ALSO: Air Dry Your Dogs for Fewer Wrinkles
REPORT: Inter-Species Kissing on the Rise
The Pew Center for American Animal Culture finds that kissing between species is up 27% over last year. While the factors contributing to this trend are still being studied, the report found that the greatest increase in inter-species affection is between puppies and guinea pigs.
Filou and Jason, submitted by Stéphane Prior.
Puppies Generally Unimpressed by Valentine’s Flowers
Wondering what to get your little puppy for Valentine’s Day? Don’t go for flowers, says Gina Buckman of Good Morning America. Chances are they’ll be bored.
Try a huge ball of bacon instead.
Via Khanh Hmoong.
Area Puppy Wanted for Melting Hearts
A puppy named Cali is wanted by federal authorities for melting at least 16 hearts in the course of one week. The cruel canine leaves her victims incapacitated and gasping for air before sniffing out her next target with callous indifference.
If you have any information on the whereabouts of Cali or her associates, please contact the FBI.